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Loving yourself is not selfish.
Loving yourself is not conceited.
Loving yourself is not egotistical.
Loving yourself is not weird.
Loving yourself is not an option.
It is a requirement to live an aligned and abundant life.
When we love ourselves, we empower ourselves.
When we love ourselves, we attract MORE love and acceptance.
I know the journey of self love is not easy.
If I hadn’t struggled with it on my own path, I would not be writing this post.
Though it is not easy, it is one of the best ways to change your life.
So, lets build a solid foundation of self-love.
It’ll open up the gates for more love, ease and abundance to flow in.
Easy Ways to Practice Better Self-Love
We all have things we need to let go of.
Things that hold us back.
Things that resurface again and again until we look at them and assess the lesson.
Maybe it’s a past relationship, maybe it’s a negative mindset, maybe it’s a job or a friendship.
Whatever “it” is. Release it. Let go of the things that are not serving you.
We know what they are. We don’t need anyone to tell us or give us permission to move forward from the things that are no longer serving us.
When we let go, we are showing love to ourselves and putting out the signal that we love and respect ourselves.
Here’s a little excerpt from one of my favorite Erykah Badu songs:
Bag lady you goin’ hurt your back
Draggin’ all ’em bags like that
I guess nobody ever told you
All you must hold on to
Is you, is you, is you
One day all ’em bag goin’ get in your way
If you need a little inspo to let go- check out the full song, Bag Lady.
You might also like: Using Full Moon Ritual to Release and Create Space in Your Life
Their journey is not your journey.
Don’t be afraid to pave your own way, even if it looks different from how other people are doing it.
When we compare or obsess about how other people are living, what other people have and what other people’s journey looks like, we put ourselves in a space of lack.
It often leads to thoughts like “I’m not good enough,”
“They’re so much better than me” etc etc etc
STOP. Comparing ourselves to other people is subconsciously programming our own minds to believe that we are not good enough.
For the love of self, just allow.
Allow other people be them while you be you- without having to compare.
Don’t worry or get disheartened by the things you see other people doing or having. Everyone has a story, everyone is unique, everyone has gifts and a beautiful path. Focus on YOURS.
(Sorry for the all caps I just feel passionately about the damage comparison causes LOL)
Face Your Fears
Mhmm. This one is a toughie, too.
What are you afraid of?
What are your fears?
Usually the key to our freedom and ability to fully love ourselves lies here.
Our fears often show us what we need to focus on loving.
Afraid of being alone? You might need to focus on loving the quiet and comforting yourself.
Afraid of failing? You might need to focus on loving and acknowledging your unique gifts!
Afraid of being judged? You might need to focus on loving and accepting yourself. Own it.
…see the pattern? Get comfortable with your fears and look for the lesson within each one.
Our fears are our greatest teachers. Get creative, think deep. Get to the root of those fears so you can love and accept the message beneath the surface. I promise it’s empowering.
I have a whole post on this here: What is Shadow Work? Identifying the Shadow Self and Learning How to Heal it
In summary, shadow work is taking a look at those parts of ourselves that we repress and hide from the world.
Our trauma, past experiences, fears, insecurities- all parts of the shadow self.
Our wounded inner child- often a part of our shadow self.
Don’t be fooled by all this “love and light” philosophy out there. That’s not where the real healing happens.
Yes “love and light” are the goal, the main focus, etc.
However, we have to look at the shadow self and heal it in order to really ascend into full creative expression.
We have to love our flaws, love our hurt and love our past experiences in order to fully love the good in our lives and the good in ourselves.
Write a Love Letter to Yourself
One of the easiest ways to practice self-love and connect to the energy of self-acceptance is through writing a love letter to yourself.
You might be thinking “yeah ok weirdo” but hear me out.
We have to give the love we want to receive.
And showing love to ourselves is the first step.
So write yourself a letter. Tell yourself all the things you’re great at. Tell yourself how beautiful you are. All the parts you love.
Make a list of all your good qualities. All your beautiful features. And don’t come over here and tell me you don’t have any- you do. That’s a fact.
Do a Little Candle Magic
Many say that this is actually the oldest form of magic- why not use it to promote self-love?
It’s an easy way to cast out your self-love intentions.
(This article from Learn Religions is a wonderful intro to candle magic. )
Basically all you do (with a new candle that has not been lit previously) is set your intention.
In this case, loving yourself.
Visualize yourself filled with love, overflowing and glowing.
Light the candle and further focus on the energy of self-love, send your intention into the light of the candle.
You can even write a note stating your intention. Be sure to include something along the lines of “I love and appreciate myself for all the uniqueness and beauty that I am. I allow this candle to light my path on the journey of self-love.
You can light the paper in the flame of the candle (safely of course) and allow it to burn out in a safe place (I use a pot, mug or take it outside on the cement).
You can add oils like jasmine or rose to the outside of the candle to help amplify this self-love ritual.
Trust Your Intuition
Trusting yourself is one of the highest forms of self love.
So often we ignore the messages that come from the heart or from our intuition.
The more you start to trust yourself and your intuitive ability, the more you will feel love and appreciation for yourself.
We know what is best for us. We know what feels good and what does not. What inspires us and what drains us.
Practice self love by listening and trusting your intuitive nudges.
Write Down All the Things You Are Grateful For
Writing down all the things we are grateful for is a great way to elevate our vibration.
And when our vibration is elevated- it’s easier to practice self love!
Write down as many things as you can think of that you’re grateful for.
Maybe start with your pets, your home, a friend, your health, etc.
You can start a gratitude journal and make it a daily practice, or you can just write it down when you need a little vibration boost.
Making a habit of writing down our gratitudes help shift our mind from focusing on what we lack, to focusing on what is abundant in our life.
Welcome Failure and Mistakes
There’s really no way to grow without these two.
Failure and mistakes are nothing to be ashamed of, and they certainly do not make us unloveable.
Its so easy to get swept up into thinking that if we fail or make a mistake we will somehow become unlovable.
Successful people fail the most and people who love themselves know that a mistake doesn’t affect their worthiness.
Welcome, embrace and accept the potential for failure. Do the same for mistakes.
Knowing and becoming comfortable with these two will make it that much easier to practice self love.
Nourish and Move Your Body
Self love is a form of nourishment. We nourish our spirit in many ways but should also nourish our bodies.
Practice listening to your body and paying attention to what it asks for.
It’s not hard to tell when we need to drink more water or eat more greens.
Listening to that inner knowing is self love.
Nourish physically and move your body. Connect to your own physicality in whatever way feels empowering for you.
Maybe it’s going for a run, taking your dogs for a walk, practicing yoga or dancing to your favorite playlist.
Hold a Cacao Ceremony (alone or with others)
Cacao is a wonderful, gentle plant medicine that can really help us to open up the heart chakra and connect to self-love. It doesn’t require anything fancy, or anyone else for that matter- just you and your intention.
I have a full post on Using Cacao Ceremony to Open The Heart Chakra here.
Express Your Creativity
Paint, write, sing, dance, cook, color, redecorate your home- whatever it is, find an outlet for your creativity.
Creative expression connects us to our confidence, connects us to our gifts and connects us to a state of flow.
When we’re here- our energy is elevated and it’s easier to see that we have loveable qualities within us.
Creativity connects us to our divine essence and allows us to tap into the magic of the universe within.
Stop Judging Yourself
I know I’m not the only one who does this sometimes.
We all do it.
We judge how we look- the quality of our skin, the size of our bodies, the texture of our hair.
We judge our social status, our business growth, where we come from, our upbringing, where we live.
All of the judging is detrimental.
It blocks us from loving ourselves and from valuing the unique, gifted and intuitive beings we are.
Plug Into Community
Often when we’re on the spiritual path or path of entrepreneurship- it can get lonely. It can feel isolating to be seeking something deeper or something more out of life.
That loneliness and isolation can make it hard to experience love- including self-love.
So plug into a community. Get involved in a moon circle, attend workshops, go to yoga classes, and look for your “people,” you’ll find them if you try.
Reprogram the Way you Talk to Yourself
Instead of allowing the negative voice in your head to get all the space, start demoting it.
Every time it pops up with criticism, judgement, negativity- stop it. Thank it. Then allow it to be dismissed.
Replace that negative energy with a positive affirmation.
Self-love truly is such an important process and part of our personal growth journey.
I hope this guide helped inspire you to find a few new ways to express appreciation for yourself and practice better self-love.
As always, sending you love wherever you are!
If you have any other ideas or ways you like to practice self-love, let me know in the comments.